We’ve all heard it: “Feedback is a gift.” But let’s be honest—sometimes it feels more like an awkward re-gifting situation than a beautifully wrapped present. The truth? When done right, feedback can spark growth, build stronger teams, and deepen relationships. But when mishandled, it can do just the opposite.
So, how do we give feedback that’s both honest and helpful—without damaging trust or motivation?
Great feedback isn’t about pointing out flaws—it’s about helping someone succeed. Approach every conversation with the goal of serving, not scoring. When your intent is to build up, not break down, your message lands with more care and clarity.
Be specific, not vague. Instead of saying, “You’re not doing well,” say, “I noticed the deadline was missed twice this month. Let’s talk about what’s getting in the way.”
Clarity avoids confusion, and compassion prevents defensiveness.
Don’t blindside someone in front of a crowd or drop heavy feedback in a rush. Choose the right moment—ideally when both of you are calm and open to dialogue.
Feedback is a two-way street. After you share your thoughts, pause. Ask, “How does that land for you?” or “What’s your perspective?” Listening builds trust and often reveals unseen challenges or intentions.
If your feedback leaves the person thinking, “Okay, now what?”—you’ve missed the mark. Offer suggestions, not just observations. Help them see a clear next step they can take to improve.
When we treat feedback as a generous and thoughtful exchange, not a critique session, we empower others to grow—and we grow, too. So the next time you have something important to share, wrap it with care, courage, and kindness. It might just be the gift they didn’t know they needed.
