Have you ever been in a feedback conversation where it felt like you were speaking into a void? You ask questions, offer insights, and yet, the other person seems distant or defensive. It’s not just frustrating—it’s unproductive.

That’s why I advocate for a simple yet transformative approach called “Rate and Reflect.” Inspired by motivational interviewing techniques, this method turns feedback into a collaborative, empowering dialogue. Instead of leading with criticism or directives, ask the other person to assess their performance: “On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you think you handled [specific task]?” When they respond, follow up with, “Why not higher?”

This method encourages self-awareness and accountability, making the feedback process less about fault-finding and more about fostering growth. In my book, Fearless Feedback: Turning Conversations Into Collaboration, I delve into how strategies like these can build trust, defuse defensiveness, and create lasting change. Feedback should never be a one-sided lecture—it’s a conversation, and it can be fearless.